Darkness
by BrokenInfinty-City'sArmageddon
Summary: Just thoughts from Kaiba's POV


DISCLAIMER: Ok, Yea, this is a disclaimer. Someone brought it to my attention that I'd forgotten to put on up here...hehe... ^^;;;;;;; Well, here it is. I don't own any of this expect for the concept of Kaiba having a lover ((which, to my knowledge, has not been mentioned in the YuGiOh series)) Once again, do not sue me.  
  
A/N: BTW, I don't think was depressing enough. My goal was to bring at least ONE person to an either very depressed state or to the verge of tears ((lol)) If I attain this goal, please leave me a review and let me know ^^  
  
SUMMERY: Uh..just a fic from Kaiba's POV.  
  
Darkness  
  
I'm sitting in the dark again. It's a bit ironic how I'm doomed to do this for eternity. Every once in awhile I sit in the dark when a dark time falls, or when I am angry. The dark is soothing to me.maybe because I am so close to it.  
  
I sit in the dark when I plot against Yugi, I sat here when my love died, I sat here the last time I cried..but those last two were years and years ago. I feel cold tears running down my face, though I do not understand why. Perhapes it is because I have not thought of her, my love, since she died.until now that is.  
  
Yugi once told me that I did know what love is. I don't know, not anymore at least. I forgot love the day my adoptive father killed her, and thus I have avenged her death. Avenged all times he beat me, hurt Mokuba and I. Gozaburo, if you hear me now then know that because of what you have done you deserved death.and because of what I have done I deserve death ten fold.  
  
My revenge on Gozaburo was an empty satisfaction, it did not bring my love back to me. So I have forgotten her and how to love, my heart is as ice now, forever. I feel pain, loneliness, and suffering. But who am I to complain? From what I've become, I deserve this.  
  
Dueling is all I have left; dueling and Mokuba. Mokuba looks up to me, though I wish he would pick someone else to idolize. I am the last person I want him to become. But I'm all he's got, I wish I could give him better.  
  
This darkness is beginning to look good; perhaps I will not leave this room again. I like it here.much more then any normal person. I think I scare Mokuba when I go in here, I have forbidden him to come here; I hope to prevent him from getting addicted to the darkness as I have.  
  
I am laying down now, today was tiring. Maybe I'll sleep here tonight. Suddenly my eyes snap open. No, no I cannot sleep here. Mokuba would worry to greatly. I can't have him worrying about me anymore then he already is. He might do something stupid in his panic..call over Yugi to help him find me. Which I cannot allow, no one must see me the way I am now, so small and weak.  
  
I suppose some of you are wondering why I haven't put a bullet in my own head or a knife into my own chest by now. Why? Because that is a stupid thing to do and that would only make me even more weak. I would be doomed to an eternity of this pain, loneliness, and suffering instead if one short lifetime. I can take this for one lifetime yes, but not for an eternity, which is what I would be stuck with if I were to kill myself. Plus, Mokuba is not old enough to be on his own.  
  
But how long will this lifetime be? I'm fifteen and I feel I've been through enough to be 65.at times I feel even older and dragged down then that. Who knows? Maybe I'll die young then.I've had everything I could've wanted. I had a family and love and it was taken from me before I was even 16.that was all I ever really wanted, love. But when I inherited Kaiba Corp, it gave me something to do. I made millions, billions of dollars and I now have all the money anyone could ever dream of. But what's the point? There is no one to share it with.  
  
Maybe one day I'll learn to love again, though I'd be surprised if anyone would WANT to be relatively close to me. I hear what people say "Kaiba is so heartless, he is inhuman, how does Mokuba stand him?" You would the same way as I if you had experienced what I have. Or maybe I really am as heartless as they say I am. Either way, none of this matters to me anymore. I don't think it ever really has.  
  
My spirit it stained crimson.some of it is my own blood, some of it belongs to others. Some was caused by people I once knew, even more was caused by me. That is why I like the darkness. In the darkness, I can't see the burning red anymore. The red that tortures and haunts me. In the dark, it is invisible.  
  
I think that if any one knew how much pain and blood I have endured, then maybe they would be to understand me.  
  
But who am I kidding? Not even my love understood.  
  
No one did.  
  
END 


End file.
